It was my first official week back to work after being plagued by a “severe cold.” This according to the doctor I visited who wore yellow jeans and has previously attempted to sell Botox to my husband.
Being sick usually means being completely disconnected from the world except for maybe Netflix or Jerry Springer.
Back to the grind and catching up on all the crazy news stories makes me wish I was home sick again.
The Celebrity Report
As we’re all painfully aware, Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling birthed what is likely to be the world’s most beautiful human. In a recent interview about her perfect life, Eva Mendes said keeping her man happy means “You can’t do sweatpants… ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!” (ExtraTV.com).
It’s very possible I would wear a dead body if it made this guy happy.
Miss Mendes is a hair late to the judgemental wardrobe party because this week marked the possible end to the highly popularized Fashion Police. After the death of Joan Rivers, replacement host Kathy Griffin, was hired to carry on the show but quit shortly thereafter. Between her and Kelly Osbourne claiming how awful the show was and Guliana Rancic’s insolence, E! called for “an extended hiatus.”
3 Sodas a Day Keeps Death Away
Apparently we’re all doing life completely wrong. A 104 year-old woman from Texas attributes her long life to “3 cans of Dr. Pepper a day.” According to the interview with health guru Elizabeth Sullivan on DailyMail.co.uk, doctors kept telling her to stop and that it would inevitably lead to her demise. Her response?
“They die and I don’t, so there must be a mistake somewhere.”
Internet explorer is going bye bye
THANK GOD! The internet browser that people still use because it supports weird work websites is being phased out by Microsoft.
It won’t officially be gone and dead forever but for the most part it is being replaced. The replacement browser? Currently code-named Project Spartan which already makes it infinitely better than IE already. According to CNN.com, the new browser isn’t a full replacement since it will be “built on a different software platform than IE.” That will allow IE to stick around and still support “legacy websites” that need “older technologies” to function.
No matter, I’ll be Chrome-ing while this goes down.
Spring Has Sprung
For me in the Sunshine state this has meant sunroof down and music up, just like neighborhood assholes everywhere. For everyone else, it’s still cold. To be fair, the pollen count in Florida is so high, cars are turning yellow and green just like everyone’s sinuses.