Being Honest is a Lie

Honesty is the worst policy. In any situation where you need to remind yourself to “be honest” and the truth will set you free, just lie. I am a firm believer that the urge to lie are your natural instincts protecting you and affected party(ies) from the horrible truth.

Just like respect, honesty is earned. It’s not something freely given to civilians but a luxury only your nearest and dearest are awarded. Despite people claiming they want the truth, I venture to generalize that most people don’t. Instead they want you to tell them what they want to hear and need you to back their already clear opinion.

But I just couldn’t accept that lesson, could I?

Recently, I went shopping with my sister to get her a holiday party dress. Shortly thereafter she told me to start a fashion blog and my head grew three sizes.
I sat across from her dressing room waiting for her to show me the dresses and ask for my honest opinion. Being my sister, she gets my honest opinion and wants exactly that. If something looks awful, she wants to know not to buy it. If it looks great, she wants me to gush about how amazing it is and that if she doesn’t get it I’ll kill her. This is an unspoken expectation between me and my honests.

Ready to fuck up it all up was leopard skirt lady from 2 rooms down who did that absolute unthinkable. Apparently, dicking around on my phone signals to strangers that I would love to chat.

She turned to me and asked “well, what do you think?”

Because I can’t lie under pressure, my response was “do you want my honest opinion? What part of that outfit belongs to you?” After pointing to the almost offensively horrendous shirt, I gave it to her.

I simply told her a different fitting top with her boots and skirt would do the trick. That’s it.
Crickets. MOTHER FUCKING CRICKETS. On top of her inability to process the truth, her seemingly older gay friend told her “if the top was more fitted you wouldn’t like it.”

Ohhhhkay. You wanna play like that old timer? Let’s rewind and assess who she asked first.

My sister’s reaction was the basis of this post and a harsh reality that I’d made a mistake.

The lesson to be learned is telling people the truth might make you feel great and restore your mind with peace and love. But the receiver interpreting your seemingly harsh opinion hates you and wants to cut you in the parking lot.

All I’m saying is when your gut gets to rumbling and signals your brain to hold back and whip out a lie, do it.

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