Is It 5 O’Clock Somewhere, Yet?

Part of growing up is being able to handle all the stress life seems to chuck at you after college. As if the massive student loan bills consuming your paycheck aren’t enough, life really wants you to suffer.

It’s possible for all the years you spent acting like a littler brat when you didn’t get a cupcake or breaking curfew, the universe has a way of settling the score. Fast forward to your late 20s and know true suffering.

As little as your elders warn you about how intense life is about to get, they also fail to warn you about the dangers of alcohol. College is loosely defined as Alcoholics Non-Anonymous and drinking is a right of passage. Despite being honored for how much you can drink, society would prefer you immediately ditch those habits post graduation. Finally landing your dream job that pays in peanuts and rains on your whole “Wanderlust” mantra, alcohol rears it’s oddly reassuring head.

The day you figure out a cold one makes all the Office Space scenarios fade away, you’re drinking like you did in college but on your couch…watching Netflix.

When you’re day isn’t stressful but you’re at work, you reason with yourself that maybe the weather is a good reason to enjoy some wine.

Lush Self: “It’s sunny out today and I deserve a margarita to celebrate that. Uh oh, a cold front sounds like some Champs and Real Housewives all night.”

If seasons don’t get you in the adult beverage mood the Europeans will.

Lush Self: “The Europeans drink wine everyday with every meal, don’t they? I’m pretty sure they put Bailey’s in their cereal but that might be an Urban Legend. Either way, I’m 1/8 Italian.”

Perhaps you’re not European and can’t make any family-tree connections to rationalize your lunchtime brewski. But it is Monday and the start of a work week is never an easy thing.

Lush Self: “Wednesdays wouldn’t be a mid-week mile marker if they didn’t include wine. No explanation needed for Fridays…or Saturdays.”

Finally, if you’re not having a stiff one for any other reason than your health then cheers to you. These days all signs point toward superior human being if you drink all the time. A glass of wine a day replaced apples and now they replace the gym all together. At this rate it will soon replace work and the world would be a better place.

On that note, I’m off to a much belated birthday celebration with my sister and plenty of wine. Our plan is to celebrate me whilst empathizing with the Northeast.

 

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