Waste of Space

I officially made it an entire year without getting sick. Until this week when the Mucinex monsters invaded my face and set up an entire colony in my sinuses.

funnyjunk.com
funnyjunk.com

I made a valiant attempt at being productive by going to work on Monday but that ended at noon. Tuesday was a bust but Wednesday I geared up and gave every effort to be a useful part of society again. That may have been a mistake because today started at 5:30a with absurd amounts of mucus seeping out of my head. Naturally, I called out with any bit of painful speaking I could.

And today I was a complete waste of space.

Between feeling confident the end was nigh and running out of lotion tissues, today was the absolute worst. Sure, it sucks having a headache from the pressure in your sinuses, your throat hurting but the dryness induces coughing fits, your nose being blown raw, your ears itching and not finding any enjoyment out of food but being sick is two parts.tumblr_mqvbt7eNbm1qhmz3bo1_500

Part one is the horrible weakness your body feels. The second part is the unproductive being you’ve become. Home alone you’re forced to fend for yourself which results in a nearby garbage can spewing with snot rags and a blanket. The second anyone contacts you or comes into contact with you, the milking begins.

Loved One: Can I get you anything?
Me: A gun.
Loved One: So you’re all set then?
Me: NO! *crying* I need everything. Just get it all.

Even if no one is interested in checking on you to avoid being your bitch or catching your bubonic virus, realizing you’ve done absolutely nothing will still reduce you to feeling pathetic. Cleaning makes you sweat, moving makes you sweat, showering makes you sweat so you do none of those. Make up isn’t even on the table and your hair has morphed into a matted carcass-hat.

185_fox has to pee

 

Meanwhile, everyone else continues to carry on appearing supremely productive without you. Is it me or is everyone else landing promotions, breaking their weight loss plateau and or having the best hair day ever? I know no one is expecting anything from you but that doesn’t exactly help either. “Relax, just get better and we’ll all have the best time without you. Love ya!”

As of now, I’m attempting to plug out some writing and a bucket list of everything I want to accomplish when I feel better. Namely, a shower.

One thought on “Waste of Space”

  1. Being sick sucks pretty hard core when there is no one to whine to, but even worse when it’s your kids early day, and your son has a friend come over, and your wife volunteers to watch two other kids. That may or may not have happened to me on my first sick day in over 8 years. I almost wanted to go to work.

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