Where Did All the Conversations Go?

Am I crazy or did everyone forget how to have a conversation? Please don’t respond to this as I am not yet completed with every single thought I’m having today. I won’t tell you when you can interject but you’ll probably interrupt me to do it and we’ll talk over each other assuming that’s how conversations work.

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Oddly enough, as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed the “art of conversation” dying a rapid and horrifically gruesome death. I thought the older we got, the better at being humans we become? ‘Fraid not.

Instead, all I see are assholes waiting to say nothing of value. Normally, they would have welcomed thoughts if this were a considerate conversation.

But my most my favorite thing is to watch it play out as a bystander. It begins with someone geiting really excited to tell you a story. Cool, I’m on board and ready to listen. Then out of the corner of your eye, like a mythical gnome creature, you see the flinching begin. The other person listening in has turned a shade of red not even familiar to ball sacks. The veins are bulging from their neck and their lips are moving but no sound emits. Slowly, little mouth farts emerge from their mouth-hole signaling to the speaker they have something so fucking important to say if they don’t express it they will literally combust.

The speaker continues on because their thinking what everyone else is “shut the fuck up you dickhead, I literally just started!”
They have the unfortunate dilemma of “should I keep going because that was rude” or “do I hog the conversation so much this is the only way people end up getting to participate.”

It’s literally the biggest mess you’ve ever seen. Picture Britney spears getting out of a car in a mini-skirt with a shaved head and Vern Troyer sitting on her shoulder. I apologize for that horrific image.

If the storyteller doesn’t have a strong enough hold on the situation, the interrupter will get a word in. This usually results in the speaker backing off and giving up or talking over the interrupter to keep going.

Am I the only one experiencing this phenomenon, if you want to call it that? I thought for years it was the state of Florida which wouldn’t be difficult to believe. But now I think it’s just people forgetting how to converse with one another. Does no one care to have the ping pong fun that is a conversation anymore or is everyone so consumed with their dumb thoughts they say “fuck the rules” and rewrite them?

I really am open for feedback in posing this question because I’m baffled. I don’t know when this started, I don’t know what the source of all this madness is but I am extremely curious for some insight.

If this is the future of human interaction, I am more frightened of it than the zombie apocalypse. At least zombies would let me talk over their gurgling babble while I sleigh them with a crossbow.




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