Ass-ymmetrical

I’m back in grad school which means fewer blog posts. I sincerely apologize but I’m pretty confident that due to my moment of idiocracy in signing up for a class located at the campus 3 hours from here, I won’t be as busy as I had planned.

The gym is officially 100% part of my life again and has been since my breakdown mid-October. I still have days where I feel like skipping a cardio session to cuddle on the couch and be a complete waste of humanity but they are much fewer than before. Getting into a new schedule has actually been fun. I know that sounds entirely insane but I always enjoy getting back into a new routine after some time off because I have a significant amount of determination to hit the weights harder or eat a little cleaner.
A part of me thinks my meltdown was necessary because I have never felt better than I do in this moment. My diet is as clean as I could and would like it to be while still indulging from time to time, my gym time is maximized and never wasted and the work is paying off. I actually called my mom this evening to ask her if we can have asparagus for my birthday dinner tomorrow because I am craving it. Craving asparagus?! I have seriously had an awakening.

asparagus-urine-ladies-discuss1

But….this blog post wouldn’t be complete or me without a big but(t). What the hell is up with the asymmetry of my body?! I once heard that beauty can be defined by the amount of symmetry in a person’s face. Considering I get a lazy eye when I booze and the rest of me doesn’t match it’s opposing limb, I’m hoping husband-face finds abstract beautiful.

My left leg has always looked better than the right. It’s more toned, it’s losing fat faster than the other and has the shape of an ideal leg. The right leg is stumpier but doesn’t measure any bigger than the left. It has a few more dimples and resembles more of a linkin’ log. The strangest thing about this particular asymmetry is my right leg is actually stronger than the left. What I can lift with my right leg is more of a struggle for the left; so much so I consider changing the weight for the poor feeb.
Recently I started noticing this asymmetry throughout my entire body. My right arm is slightly more toned than the left which makes zero sense for a left-hander such as myself. My left eye’s lashes are much more cooperative and longer than those on my right but my right has the better brow. My left boob is less small than the right and I saw that instead of “bigger” because they are continually shrinking. My left ass cheek is shedding fat much quicker than the right but my right side is better for photos.

Passing others on the street I don’t recall observing the same disparities I find in myself. Then again, we are our own worst critics right? If the worst thing I have to complain about hours before turning 25 are mis-matched limbs as they transform into better versions of themselves, than I feel pretty damn lucky. I hope that by this time next year, my complaint will be that I am perfectly symmetrical and cookies have no adverse affects on me anymore.

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One response to “Ass-ymmetrical

  1. Too funny! I’ve noticed this about myself too! The left side of my face appears totally different to me than the right side, especially when you look at my chin and jaw line. How weird!

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