I seriously cannot believe I’m writing another “end of year” post. To be cliché it feels like only yesterday I was making a list of resolutions that I’m not even sure I kept. I actually think I completely forgot about most of them.
Overall 2012 was not a comparable year to the one prior. In 2011 I graduated college, got married & ran a half marathon. In late 2012 I enrolled into grad school over which I am still questioning. I can’t complain about my life in the slightest but I did go through somewhat of a mid-mid-life crisis long about October. The stress of moving had mounted, my gym regimen was nearly non-existent and I was completely confused about what the eff I was doing with my life. This stress translated to being distant and angry toward those around me. Eventually, Husband-face sat me down and got me back to my chipper, optimistic self by reassuring me of my accomplishments and that for my age (24), I’m doing pretty damn well.
Sometimes it’s hard to see how good you have it when it’s all you know. This is where strong relationships come into play. I realized that the conversation with a good friend gives you perspective which you don’t get when you’re pouting and demanding alone time. I’m a bit of a homebody but I value the few, fantastic friends I do have and the support they have provided me through the years or even months we’ve been in each other’s lives. The strongest relationship I have is with my husband. I’m sorry to have caused you to gag. In all seriousness he is a straight shooter. If I’m being a selfish bitch and am completely wrong, he tells me. If I’m rocking the world and making all the right moves, he tells me that too. He is the person I go to when I honestly need advice on what I should do and need to hear the real deal.
As the year is ending and a new one is beginning I look forward to getting another chance. I spent an entire year of my life waiting. I was waiting for my break, waiting for a change, waiting for life to happen. When nothing happened, I cried and screamed and through my rattle on the floor.
In 2013 I won’t be waiting. I wasted 365 days of my life doing that and don’t have any more to spare. If you need me I’ll be making things happen and breaking the mold of old, haggard, lame Jane from 2012. I’ll be strengthening the relationships that mean a lot to me and have had lesser attention than they deserve. I’ll be living in the moment and enjoying the present rather than stressing about the time or the plan. I’ll be working my ass off to rock my graduate degree so by March 2014, I’m a “master of business.” I’ll be enjoying the incredible weather that I moved here for and soaking up some natural rays. I’ll be celebrating the love of my friends at THREE weddings and traveling to satisfy my insatiable desire to see everything. I won’t be waiting, I’ll be moving and shaking my way to 2014.
It’s a corny post but sometimes they’re needed. Life isn’t always funny jokes and new recipes. Life is the lows and the venting of the lows to anyone who will listen. Life is how you react to those lows and grow stronger for a new day.
At midnight I’ll be celebrating the year that I love every second of the life I have.
