Being the “Life of the Party” Runs in My Family

As of recent, I have learned that being the life of the party runs in my family. For clarification, by “life of the party” I mean flashing my labia is the least of my worries. Being on the cusp of 27, I’ve been questioning this a lot as of late. I don’t actually do anything to resolve … Continue reading Being the “Life of the Party” Runs in My Family

Being Honest is a Lie

Honesty is the worst policy. In any situation where you need to remind yourself to “be honest” and the truth will set you free, just lie. I am a firm believer that the urge to lie are your natural instincts protecting you and affected party(ies) from the horrible truth. Just like respect, honesty is earned. … Continue reading Being Honest is a Lie

Period Paranoia

Few things in life are more terrifying than when you think your period is visible to the naked eye. A completely separate fear can be experienced when that actually happens but today’s post is reserved for the incessant paranoia that happens every time your period arrives. I apologize in advance for the descriptive nature of … Continue reading Period Paranoia

North Korea Just Needs a Hug

Every year, my husband and I carry on his family Christmas tradition that favors his Jewish roots. We enjoy a wholesome Chinese delivered dinner accompanied by a Christmas-released film at the theater. This year, North Korea (and Sony for that matter) fucked up my happy family tradition. Aside from me and Kristen Wiig being uncontrollably … Continue reading North Korea Just Needs a Hug

Rebirth of the Blog, Minus the Mess and Placenta

Hey everyone! Thanks for visiting the site that is currently under construction. To find out a little more about the construction process, navigate yourself over to “the catastrophe” to become well informed about my absence and how massive of an idiot I am. The official relaunch date of the blog will be MONDAY, JANUARY 12TH … Continue reading Rebirth of the Blog, Minus the Mess and Placenta

The Catastrophe

It was a day like any other. I logged into my Gmail account and ignored 95% of my emails and their erroneous claims: “Pfft. It’s not worrisome that my web hosting is about to expire. Oh shit but my Groupons are!” As weeks went by I continued to ignore incoming mail and began wondering why … Continue reading The Catastrophe