Before bed last night I was brushing my teeth and couldn’t help but notice I had reverted to 14 again. I turned to the side with my brush still vibrating and noticed the little bumps where my boobs used to be. I even lifted up my shirt thinking “surely I’m not that flat.” I felt better when I went Girls Gone Wild on myself but was still slightly ashamed.
I started thinking about my old body in comparison to my “new” body. In high school I had big boobs by the time I was in 8th grade. I had a C cup for as long as I can remember and they only got bigger if I got bigger. Eventually I was hovering between a full C to small D. I dug this gem up as proof that I am not lying.
Mind you my cheeks and other such body parts were also a little more full but at least I had my womanly parts. Now that I eat an extremely healthy diet and exercise regularly, those womanly parts have started to fade into memory. I still have a large rump that is increasingly more round and firm but alas, the bosoms that once graced my chest and filled out dresses are no longer.
The more I thought about this the more I started wondering; what would I sacrifice for the “perfect” body? What is the perfect body?
For me the ideal body would consist of a 36-37 inch hip with a nice round booty. Much like Ms. Latona’s:
My arms would be toned without looking too veiny or masculine but without being flexed you could tell I hit the gym. My legs would have ZERO cellulite and always be tan and my abs would have the outline of a 4-pack. Finally, my boobs would be a perky 34C that were never affected by any weight goals.
Unfortunately, that ain’t happening and I can’t afford implants. Not to mention, I have only ever heard horror stories from anyone I’ve known with them.
Because perfect bodies can’t be ordered online, there must be some sacrifices you make to obtain as close to perfect as you like. With the more toned my abs get will I care less about the absences of breasticles? If my could fill out blue pants like Amanda Latona’s, would I not mind so much that I had only a 2-pack set of abs?
I tried convincing myself this was the case because I the loss of my chest mass I have also lost significant fat on my legs. If anyone knows me, they know my legs have and probably always will be my #1 problem area. To see results in an area I have struggled with my whole life was extremely gratifying and kind of negated my boob-encholy. I mean they make push up bras and padded swimsuits now of which I own both.
The struggle I had in coping with my changing body was remember a time when I had them. They were a focal point, they were nice and they got compliments all on their own. I was never offended and I actually liked the attention they brought. Not in whorey way…well kind of.
Now that my best friends have long since abandoned me, I’m grieving their loss and it sucks. I’m trying to convince myself that my new friend, Assandra, will take their place. She’s a great gal and brings all the boys to the yard but instead of the front yard where I can see them, they’re hanging out back. I’ve also gained another great friend, Abby. She’s super awesome and makes my stomach look great in my push-up swim suit.
I suppose everyone goes through some type of metamorphosis where they sacrifice something from their past, chubster life in pursuit of their skinnier one.
P.S. can we please discuss I spent an entire blog complaining about getting in shape and skinnier? This is probably where I need to admit that I’m still a full B and sometimes a small C if the padding is sufficient enough.